Turtle Rock

Sugarloaf and her third husband, Josh, visited Ohmer and Granny in the holler. As soon as they arrived, before introductions were made, Josh saw Ohmer mistreating his mule in the field. Acting the big man and having no idea what he was about to get himself into, he yelled out, “how would you like it if I gave you some of that treatment?”

Never one to back down from a challenge, Ohmer shouted back, “well, if you think you’re man enough, bring yourself on down here!” Not a big man by any means and certainly no match for the likes of Ohmer, Josh rushed down and grabbed him by the collar and before he knew what was going on, Ohmer landed a swift right cross and easily put Josh down for the count.

Witnessing the commotion from not far away, Aunt Butterrole’s son, Kevin, sprinted toward the house, yelling out, “Granny! Grenddeddy just killed Josh! Grenddeddy just killed Josh!”

“I don’t know what he thinks comin’ ’round here tryin’ to tell me my business,” Ohmer told Josh’s friend, “but you best pick him up and git him outta here NOW!” He did exactly as Ohmer demanded and I don’t believe Josh ever returned.

In his 80s, Ohmer took ill. I’m not sure, but I believe he had been diagnosed with cancer before Cluster, one of Aunt Paige’s sons had been visiting him. Rubbing the pain deep in his hip, Ohmer said, “Gawdamit! There ain’t no bone in there,” believing that it had actually been eaten away.

Attempting to ease the mood, Cluster replied, “ya got it all wrong! I know exactly what’s ailin’ ya.”

Hoping that Cluster might be onto something, Ohmer asked, “by Gawd, whatta ya think it is?”

Playing it like a poker hand, Cluster said with a stern poker face, “Ohmer, what you got is the gout, plain and simple!”

Those were fighting words as far as Ohmer was concerned. Setting the record straight, Ohmer assured him, “I ain’t got no damn gout! I know damn well I got cancer!”

Cluster got a kick out of Ohmer’s reaction and said with a grin from ear to ear, “No, indeedy!” At that time, Ohmer’s cousin, WM, pulled up in his car and Ohmer turned to go up the steps, toward the house. Giving WM a wink, Cluster told him to holler at Uncle Ohmer before he goes into the house. “Tell him ya know exactly what’s wrong with him is the gout!”

With a snicker, WM yelled to Ohmer, “hey Ohmer!” Stopping in his tracks, Ohmer turned to see what WM wanted. Continuing in a serious tone, WM said, “Ohmer, I wanna talk to ya.”

“What is it, M?” Ohmer asked.

“Ohmer,” WM continued, “come on down here.” Making his way back down the steps, he unwittingly stepped right into the middle of their fun. WM asked him how he was feeling today.

Rubbing his hip, Ohmer admitted, “damned if my hip ain’t killin’ me!”

Hardly able to contain himself, WM said, “well, I know exactly what’s wrong.”

WM was playing him like a fiddle. Ohmer asked, “well, by gawd, ya do, M?”

Now easing up the steps, closer to Ohmer, WM finally let loose. “Yeah, Ohmer, ya got the gout,” he said. Both Cluster and WM commenced to knee-slapping laughter as Ohmer spewed back, “gawd dam! I ain’t got no gout! There ain’t a lazy bone in my body” before turning around in total disgust and hobbling back into the house, rubbing his hip all the way.

When Ohmer expressed an interest to go to church, it was probably a sign that he felt the end was near. The next Sunday, he accompanied Granny and Suzie to the service. While everyone in the room had their heads bowed and eyes closed, the minister asked if there was anyone who wanted to be saved. “Raise your hand” he said, “to indicate yes.”

After the end of the sermon, the minister asked Ohmer if he understood what he had done that morning by raising his hand. Following a few more questions with Granny, Suzie, and a few dear friends at his side, the preacher was convinced that Ohmer had accepted Jesus as his savior. Ohmer continued going to church every Sunday afterwards.

Jeanette got the surprise of her life the next time she visited Granny and Ohmer. Calling her name, he asked Jeanette to come sit on his lap. She didn’t quite know what to say. Her body language indicated that she was staying put. Granny reached over to her and placed her hand on her shoulder before saying, “Jeanette, go ahead and do it.” She always trusted Granny, and reluctantly approached him where she stood at his side.

Reaching out, he took her hand and gently brought her closer, onto his lap. She was noticeably uncomfortable there and he proceeded to put his arm around her and said, “Jeanette, Honey, you don’t think Grenddeddy loves you” pausing to give her a moment to respond.

Slowly nodding, she cautiously said, “Yes, thats right.”

Looking directly into her eyes, he told her that he did in fact love her. “I love you just as much as I love my own babies, but I have never been able to show you.” With tears running down his cheek, he and Granny both began to cry. He was finally reaching out to Jeanette after all those years of neglect and abuse. Christ was now in his heart and Jeanette gave him her heart that day.

His health continued to decline and Suzie had to carry him from her car, into the church every Sunday morning. One Sunday night in February, Granny called Suzie to tell her that her dad was near his end and asked if she would come over and stay the night. She did and he died the following morning at the age of 74. When the people from the funeral home attempted to pick his body up, Aunt Suzie stopped them and said, “I’ll do it. It’s the least I can do for Daddy.” The once colasssal man was now less than 100 pounds. Lovingly, Aunt Suzie picked up her father’s body and placed it on the gurney before it was taken away.

At the funeral parlor, Charles stood next to his Uncle Ohmer’s casket while noticing that his hands were folded together on his stomach, his index finger pointed straight up into the air. Several others had tried to make it lay flat without any luck. Obviously upset about it, Charles thought he was pointing at him. Reaching inside the casket, Charles passed his hand lightly over his uncle’s finger revealing that it was now laying down as he thought it should. Smiling, Charles said, “you’re welcome, Uncle Ohmer.

More to come