Turtle Rock

Never owning any of the properties they lived on, Granny and Ohmer rarely stayed in one place for very long. Housefires forced them to move at least twice during their lives after their homes burned to the ground. Oddly enough, both occurrences took place when Ohmer had been gone for days at a time on logging trips. One time, Granny had just purchased a few hundred chickens that perished in one of those fires. She always suspected that Ohmer returned in the middle of the night and while everyone in the house was sleeping, set it ablaze.

Sugarloaf, even though just a young girl had been seen by cousin, John, placing arms-full of straw under the house earlier in the day. Granny awoke in the middle of the night to the crashing sounds of the ceiling falling down around her. She managed to escape unharmed as Sugarloaf got everyone else safely out of the house.

As a side note, I’d like to add that Ohmer was one of the men who worked on the construction of the now famous Blue Ridge Parkway that offers breathtaking views for miles and miles offering a full day of beautiful vistas. Pam and I have driven it during the autumn and neither of us ever recall driving a more beautiful route in our lives!

At the young age of only 12 years old, Sugarloaf struck out on her own. Living with friends and relatives who were happy to lend her a helping hand, she rarely returned for more than a short visit. After the autumn leaves had fallen, you could see from the mountain, down to the road in Wolftown. Aunt Suzie and the other siblings would sit on the porch during the cool evenings, watching the occasional car lights in the distance, wondering when their sister, Sugarloaf, was coming back.

Aunt Paige, Ohmer’s sister, and her son, Charles, paid a visit to Ohmer and Granny one day. Approaching the house on foot, Charles suddenly darted off ahead, leaving his mom and dad behind to continue on their own up the dirt trail that traversed through the holler. Nearing the house, he rapidly panned the property looking for his Uncle Ohmer. Running up and around the corner of the house, he discovered him sitting on the porch, intoxicated and eating from a big jar of homemade sauerkraut. Like the scoop on the end of a crane, his large fingers dipped into the jar digging the tart and shredded strands from within. Leaning back in his chair, he hoisted a handful up to his face, tilted his head back and dropped the dangling glob into his wide-open mouth. Bent over and out of breath, Charles shattered the tranquility as he shouted out in excitement, “how you doing Uncle Ohmer?”

Startled and nearly falling backward out of his chair, Ohmer choked a bit on his kraut. With his gruff voice, he said, “Gawd damn! I’m glad to see ya, Charles, but I think I’m gonna die.” Looking healthy enough to his young nephew who was baffled by his uncle’s response, he asked him why he would say such a thing, Continuing to suck his fingers in ecstasy, Ohmer shook his bewildered head and replied, “Charles, there’s a damn chicken walking ’round here in the yard this morning. He looked up at me and said ‘how ya feelin?”

Pausing for a moment, he began to say, “Awe Uncle Ohmer…” when Aunt Paige came around the corner they all went into the house where Granny welcomed them all by fixing them something to eat.

There must be something in the DNA as I always plant cabbage in the garden for homemade sauerkraut, a delectable treat that I enjoy often here at Turtle Rock. There is yet another food that Sugarloaf and I have in common. Fried chicken, although we rarely have that now, as we try to eat a healthy diet. I’ve always been a “sticks and twigs” kind of guy and while we eat a lot of lean meats, I truly do enjoy a big, thick rare steak from the grill paired with a dry, red wine. Oh yes! A dry, baked potato is also served with that, usually following a tossed salad of mixed greens dressed with Pam’s homemade Italian dressing with her homemade sourdough bread which she makes about every two weeks. Life is good here at Turtle Rock!

As time passed, the game of cat and mouse seemed to reach a stalemate between Agent Birkhead and Ohmer. Apparently, Agent Birkhead got the idea that someone was tipping Ohmer off. Agent Birkhead decided to no longer share his plans with the local sheriff, he also upped the ante with a reward for any information leading to his arrest.

Being particularly cautious, Ohmer sent his girls, Suzie, Butteroll, and Lillie into town to get the sugar for his still despite Granny’s strong objections. After arriving at Utz’s Store, the large bags of sugar were placed on the horse-drawn wagon. Catching the eye of Agent Birkhead, he decided to see what they were up to, from a distance, of course. It was later when Ohmer was busy in the middle of working his still, Agent Birkhead came down on him, catching him red-handed this time.

Ohmer was arrested, tried, and convicted before being sentenced to one year in jail. However, understanding Ohmer’s home situation, exercising mercy, the judge allowed him to go home on weekends. Before leaving, Ohmer arranged for his nephew, John Beahm, to stay with Granny during his absence. After nearly one year in jail, he was released and placed on three years probation as assigned by the Honorable John Paul of Harrisonburg. Because his incarceration caused such a hardship on the family, the local officers made a pact to never arrest Ohmer again, choosing instead to bust up his stills whenever they were discovered so he could still provide for his impoverished family.

The mail was always delivered on horseback up in those hills. One day, the mail courier, mounted his horse and began his journey back into the mountains on familiar trails as he had done each and every day before. This time, however, was different. He had been carrying a considerable amount of cash lately and wasn’t too shy about boasting about it. Nearing the end of the day, his horse returned to town without him, the mail, or the cash. It’s said that Ohmer was the last person to see him, but charges were never filed against him.

Years later, Ohmer started to get a loose tongue and oftentimes quite emotional after he had been drinking. He’d cuss Agent Birkhead and blow his own horn about a large sum of money that he had buried under a sassafras tree. The story varied somewhat each time he told it, but when he told his son, Bullpuncher, that he had buried it under a headstone in the holler, his curiosity got the best of him. Bullpuncher couldn’t wait to find that money and as soon as the opportunity presented itself, he went up on the hill above the house in the holler to the small family cemetery and proceeded to overturn every headstone frantically looking for the stashed loot. Much to his dismay, however, his desperate search uncovered nothing but disappointment.

What I found most interesting about the story of the rivalry between Ohmer and Birkhead was the fact that years later, as Agent Birkhead was nearing the end of his life, Sugarloaf ended up sitting with him and his wife until he died. During that time, she discovered the Birkhead stash in the basement, which consisted of several newspaper articles and photographs of his battle and victory over Ohmer. Among those things, she also found some of Ohmer’s moonshine.

One day, Ohmer and a friend had been drinking. Too drunk to walk back home, his friend gave him a ride, dropping him off at the mailbox about one mile from the house in the holler. Stumbling all along the way, he managed to get most of the way home before tripping and falling one final time. Unable to get back up, he remained there, next to the spring while hollering back up to the house. Hearing his cries for help, Granny asked Jeanette to go down and help him get back to the house so he didn’t freeze to death.

Not liking it one bit, she did as her Granny asked of her. Talking to herself the entire way, she didn’t like having to help the man who had treated her so cruel, not to mention the way he had mistreated Granny as well. As far as Jeanette was concerned, Ohmer didn’t have a single redeemable bone in his body and here she was, going down to the spring in freezing cold temperatures to drag him home. Then it struck her!

Drag him, she would. After all, he was much too big for her to carry. She was now finally going to get her chance to even the score. Standing over her grenddeddy, Jeanette turned him over, face down and grabbed his arm and dragged him all the way back to the house, through every obstacle on the way including water, ice, and every rock and stick she could. The following morning, she was rather proud of herself that he was in a considerable amount of pain. Tending to his wounds, Ohmer said to Granny, “Gre-ate day, I’d like to git my hands on that som’bitch that beat me up so bad last night.” A newly-found sense of gratification overcame Jeanette as she gloated over her Grenddeddy’s misery as he believed it was another man who beat him up.

Unlike his relationship with Jeanette, Ohmer was always affectionate with Sugarloaf’s two youngest girls, Cheryl and Susan. Even when he was drinking, he would tell Cheryl, “Baby-girl, I’ll never darken your path and the greatest thing on earth is the unknown.” Cheryl became so intrigued with his skilled ability to roll his own cigarettes, she quickly learned to do it herself. She was tickled that he allowed her to her pull the tobacco from the Prince Albert can, fill the paper and make his cigarettes for him.

She’d ask him, “Grenddeddy, would you like a cigarette?” as she made a gesture like she was rolling one. He always played along then she asked if he wanted her to light it for him.

“Yeah, you can light it” he always said. That may have been the early beginnings of her life-long habit. I’m proud to say, however, that she quit in the last couple years and has remained tobacco-free ever since.

More to come