Turtle Rock

While watching the news of the raid on a church in Minnesota recently by a group of crazed and insensitive citizens, I couldn’t help but recall the time that Ohmer had hidden Evelyn’s Bible from her and forbade her from going to church again. Undeterred, she went to church against his orders the following Sunday. Self righteously, he proceeded to ride his horse into that very church while she was worshipping with all the other members. Riding directly up to the pulpit, the horse strikingly reared back on its hind legs. Raising his arm into the air, Ohmer demanded she immediately return home. As I imagine the scene with 20 years of television production behind me, I can almost see lightning flashing and thunder sounding as if it were a spectacular Hollywood production, but that’s the way my mind works. What a scene that must have been!

While Evelyn may not have been shocked by his actions that day, I imagine that all of her fellow worshippers were rather shocked by it all and you can be sure that they had no idea that he was quite the different person at home than the one they thought they knew him to be.

At home, one of his milder, but rather crude behaviors was spitting into a pot of soup or stew that Evelyn was preparing for dinner while no one was watching. He also found it amusing to spit on the side of the hot wood burning stove and watch it sizzle as it slid down the side.

Dinner time was a time for the family to gather around the table together, but not for conversation. Dinah told me that if any of the girls spoke while seated at the dinner table, he would flick his middle finger, thumping their forehead to make sure they understood that talking while eating dinner would not be tolerated. No doubt that as big and strong as he was, a thump such as that would leave quite an impression on anyone, particularly if you were a child.

The truth is that Ohmer always treated Dinah and Darlene in a loving way, much differently than the way he treated Jeanette. Calling her names like “little whore” was just the beginning. Jeanette was so little back then, she didn’t even know the meaning of such words. She later believed that Ohmer knew that Gordon, her step-father, had raped her and that’s why he called her names like that. Ohmer didn’t even likely know that Gordon wasn’t even her biological father.

Even though thumping heads at the dinner table was pretty cruel, it didn’t compare to the time when he and Jeanette were in the barn and he asked her to do something for him. When she said no, he grabbed a leather strap, swung it around and sliced her abdomen open. Dashing away, she ran to the house and showed “Granny,” that’s what they all called Evelyn then. Granny told her to go to the barn and get a handful of cobwebs and bring it back to her. Upon returning with the cobwebs, Granny applied it to Jeanette’s open wound, immediately stopping the bleeding.

One might think that she would have learned her lesson about sassing Ohmer, but yet at another time, she refused to do as he wanted. He grabbed a chunk of firewood and hit her in the head with it, knocking her unconscious just a few feet from Granny in the kitchen, resulting in permanent deafness in that ear. He told Granny that he didn’t reckon she’d ever talk back like that to him again.

Ohmer couldn’t help but drink his own moonshine and get drunk doing so. When he was drinking, Granny always made sure that the girls, Jeanette, Dinah, and Darlene, slept with their clothes on and shoes right next to the bed. They never knew when he would become enraged and terrorize them in the middle of the night, often chasing them out of the house, sometimes in the snow, seeking safety in the barn.

During an intoxicated rage one day, Ohmer ordered Granny to sit in a particular chair in the living room until he returned. After walking out the door, Jeanette pleaded with her to go hide. She felt sure that he was going to return to hurt her. She must have felt it too as she did exactly what Jeanette had asked of her. Jeanette immediately hid under the table so she could watch him upon his return from the barn. Standing over that chair, he pulled out a crow bar from his overalls and proceeded to destroy that chair while yelling as he thought she was still sitting there.

On the cold mornings, Ohmer hung the girls’ socks on the wood stove to warm them before putting them on Dinah and Darlene’s little feet, something he never did for Jeanette. She always watched from behind a door as he lovingly played with her two younger sisters while they prepared for school.

Because Ohmer bartered services in exchange for rent, he performed all the maintenance on the property surrounding the cabin. Therefore, it’s safe to say that he probably knew the area as well as anyone and better than most. I’m sure that’s one reason he was so successful making moonshine and evading the authorities. Another reason would be that he was providing his ‘shine to the local authorities. His special recipe was why his ‘shine was so popular. It’s said that his was the best for miles around, quite possibly in the entire state as he was even selling to VIPs in DC. With such connections, you can see why no one was trying to bust him.

One night, Ohmer and nephew Roy were making a new batch. Ohmer’s goat wandered over to the bucket filled with the dingy whiskey backing that had run off from the still. After lapping it down, the goat then backed away from the now empty bucket. Standing upright, wavering a bit, the goat shivered from head to tail. His eyes bulged and spun so wildly that neither Ohmer nor Roy would have been surprised to see smoke blowing from its ears. Focusing on a tree a few yards away, the goat put his head down and charged it as fast as he could. Unfortunately, the goat was no match for the tree and as soon as he collided with it, he stopped cold. Weak-kneed, he took a few steps back and fell to the ground like he’d been shot dead. Roy jumped up in a flash to aid the goat, but not before Ohmer could grab him and pull him back, saying “give him some time. He’ll be okay.” Roy sat back down and he and his uncle continued drinking throughout the rest of the night. The goat eventually recovered, but who knows whose headache was worse the following morning.

Ohmer must have crossed someone along the way because the revenuers who could never find his stills, brought their best man, Revenuer Birkhead, in to bust him. He openly started snooping around and eventually introduced himself to Ohmer. I suppose that’s when they both engaged in a game of cat and mouse.

During harvest time, while Ohmer and cousin James Berry had been working in the cornfield, Revenuer Birkhead paid him a visit and noticed a whiskey bottle near Ohmer’s mule. Birkhead ordered Ohmer to go over and get it for him so he could inspect it. Ohmer sneered and said, “If you want it, you’ll have to get it yourself.” Birkhead’s keen senses told him that something wasn’t right. Besides, it was Ohmer’s still that he really wanted. A single bottle of ‘shine was hardly worth his effort. Outnumbered this time, he thought it was wiser to back off and bid them both a good day before leaving.

As soon as Ohmer was sure that Birkhead was out of hearing distance, he began to laugh and explained to James that there wasn’t anything but water in that bottle. He’d outsmarted Birkhead but the revenuer didn’t give Ohmer the satisfaction of walking behind the mule only to be taken out by one swift kick. He then revealed to James that the real stash was hidden under the corn stalk that his mule was straddling.

More to come